Don't spend hours scouring the web for the best and weirdest news from around the world - let us do it! Each weekday we proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - Thou Shalt Not Mess With Cubic Zirconia
#2 - Shooting for Perfect Grades
#3 - A Whopper of a Tribute

Thou Shalt Not Mess With Cubic Zirconia

A Florida man who tried to rob a group of women having a jewelry party came away with nothing more than a pair of steel bracelets around his wrists – when cops tracked him down after the gals chased him off by shouting "Jesus" at him and refusing to fork over any cash.

Derick Jeremy Lee stormed into the house wearing a ski mask and carrying a pistol, which one of the party-goers slapped away, incorrectly saying she thought it "was just a water-gun." Hostess Jacquie Hagler then ordered Lee to leave "in the name of Jesus," a chant that her guests soon picked up.

Freaked out by the commotion, the often-arrested Lee bolted for the door, but was quickly arrested by cops, who knew exactly who to look for based on a description given by the women. Hagler says she's "forgiven him and prayed for his salvation," but still plans to help prosecute him. (WJXT)

 

Shooting for Perfect Grades

A Minnesota man won't be getting any Father of the Year awards after threatening to blow his daughter's head off when she came home with two B's on her report card instead of the straight A's he'd ordered her to achieve.

Kirill Bartashevitch, who'd recently bought an AK-47 assault weapon due to his fears about gun control legislation being implemented, allegedly pointed the rifle at the teenager and threatened her life. She said she wasn't afraid because she was pretty sure it wasn't loaded, but after she texted a friend about what happened cops were called in to investigate.

Bartashevich, who works for the Minneapolis school district, was charged with making terrorist threats. He admitted that he'd threatened his daughter and didn't apologize for his actions. (LA Times)

 

A Whopper of a Tribute

The family of an elderly Pennsylvania man decided to let him have it his way one last time before his burial - by steering his funeral procession through the drive-thru of a local Burger King that was his favorite restaurant.

David S. Kime reportedly ate fast food every day for 25 years before dying earlier this month at the age of 88. So as part of his sendoff, his children decided to buy burgers for all of his mourners and add one more to be placed on his coffin before it was lowered into the ground.

One of his daughters said, "His version of eating healthy was the lettuce on the Whopper Junior. My mother kind of kept him in check. When she died, for a while, he would eat with us. But he considered us health freaks because we ate things that were green, like broccoli." (York Daily Record)