An “F” in Guard Dog 101 – Redneck Headlines

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Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - Junk in His Trunk... and Out His Window!
#2 - Boozy Baby Bottle
#3 - An "F" in Guard Dog 101

Junk in His Trunk... and Out His Window!

A man who once served as vice-mayor of his Tennessee town still takes part of that title seriously, as he proved by getting arrested for driving in excess of 90 miles per hour – with his privates hanging out the window of his vehicle.

William Blakely was busted after a woman called 911 claiming that that he “fondled himself” and made obscene gestures while they drove beside each other on an interstate highway. She said she tried to ignore him, but he kept honking his horn and motioning for her to pull up her shirt as he pleasured himself.

Three other witnesses testified that they saw Blakely exposing himself while speeding a repeat of charges he faced while in office several years ago. (Huffington Post)

Boozy Baby Bottle

A Minnesota man apparently lives by one simple rule – when life gives you alcohol-spiked lemonade, let a two-year-old walk off with it.

Police found the child walking down the side of the road, holding a half-finished bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade in one hand, and an unopened one in the other. They canvassed the neighborhood, going door to door looking for the boy's parents, but had no luck – until two hours later, when an extremely intoxicated Robert Rasset rang the precinct to report his toddler missing.

Cops went to Rasset's home, expecting a hearty thank you, but according to a spokesperson, "That was not the response the officers got." While there was no sign that the boy drank any of the booze, the dad was charged with child endangerment. (UPI)

An "F" in Guard Dog 101

We all know that dogs are man's best friend, but one couple in Washington state discovered that their pooch was burglar's best pal as well.

The couple, whose identities were not released, returned to their home to find Jason McDaniel standing in their kitchen, feeding their non-guard dog some pudding out of the fridge. He told the twosome that he was looking for a man that he intended to kill, but found out that person did not live there.

After making that discovery, McDaniel sat down in a rocking chair in the living room, then walked out the front door accompanied by Buddy, the couple's pit-bull mix. He was arrested at his home, but Buddy is still on the lam. (Wenachee World)

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Categories: Weird News