I'm right in this instance, right?  Please say that I am, because I'm about to touch on an issue that's a little more serious than usual.  But that doesn't mean it still can't be fun, right?!

So I, Cowboy Troy will attempt the unthinkable.  I will try to inject humor into an essay that chastises, insults, and calls out each and every one one of us in hopes of making driving in our city more tolerable, more efficient, and more importantly--more safe.

Now, who's with me?!

Yeah, you say that, but that kind person who smiles and holds the door open for you at the convenience store is a completely different piece of work when sitting in the relative anonymity of his or her automobile.  We know you're an otherwise nice person, but to understand this you have to be able to look at yourself in an objective manner and analyze your own driving habits, because this idea involves all of us, and let's face it- we all have our days.

We're not blaming, we're not criticizing.  We're going to practice trickle down etiquette. That is where we improve the situation as a whole by starting with ourselves.  You're always saying that you want to pitch in for the community.  Here's a simple way that doesn't take much effort and could make a huge difference.

Now repeat after me, beginning each rule with 'I promise...'

...To slow down in general, and to obey the speed limit in all areas, regardless of time or whether you think you might or might not get caught.  Odds are you won't, except by your fellow drivers who will hate you forever and think seriously about ramming you.  And that's what we're trying to avoid!  This kind of requires the 'honor system.'  You still with me?

...Not to hate forever and attempt to ram that driver that just cut us off by pulling out into the intersection, clearly ignoring that bright red octagonal sign that they KNEW was there.  Just breathe.  It's all right.  You weren't really in that big of a hurry to get to that office meeting, anyway.  Be like Jesus and forgive.  This will not only lower your blood pressure, but you're learning tolerance, in the hopes that everyone will learn tolerance, and our daily trips will become more enjoyable and less like an Indy race.

...To put the phone down.   Uh,uh,uh...don't give me that.  You can to!  Remember this is for the good of us all!  One of the biggest reasons that many of us suffer road rage is because we hate witnessing the stupid negligence while they (you know who you are) were paying more attention to their phone or texting conversation, than they were on the road.  It's not only impolite to your fellow travelers, it's as dangerous as anything you could be doing out there.  How important would that conversation seem, if you had taken someone's life in the process?  These accidental deaths happen every day.  Every day that you do these things only increase the odds that it could be you next time.  It's not worth it.

...To follow the rules of the road.  You might remember that you actually had to take a test, sometimes more than once, to achieve that license you believe gives you higher priority than all others out there.  There were rules.  Green=Go, Red=Stop, Amber=Slow Down, not speed up to the point where you can barely make the corner before slamming on the brakes.  Maybe you need to pull out the manual again.  Refresh your knowledge of 'right-of-ways,' proper signaling, and the 'two-second' rule.  C'mon, we know you think you know everything.  Prove it!

Get it through your head.  We're all in a hurry.  We all have somewhere to be.  Our population is growing and it's been difficult to maintain the 'status quo' on a majority of our antiquated streets.  That's especially true if you're new to town and have found it hard to deal with our lack of a big city road system.  We're working on it.  Breathe.  Please practice these techniques.  We're about to have a nice test with road construction season looming, so give it some serious thought, please.

I pledge to show my character and do it right alongside you.  It's important, and something I feel that we should all get behind.  Don't make me want to ram you!