Cell-A-Bration! – Redneck Headlines

A New Mexico man established himself as a shoe-in for worst boyfriend of the year by trying to cut one of his former girlfriend's toes off with a cigar cutter – just months after biting off a piece of a different "little piggie" in a different incident.

Daniel Anaya, who was fired from his gig as a shoe salesman following the first foot fault, caught up with his ex despite the fact that she'd moved to another city to ditch him and gotten a restraining order along the way. The woman, whose name was not released, managed to avoid injury by fighting Anaya off with a barbecue fork, inflicting a wound bad enough to send him to the emergency room where he was arrested. (CBS)

Got 30 bucks? Then you can go directly to jail. As part of a new program in Lincoln, Nebraska, law-abiding citizens can fork over 30 dollars for the experience of spending a night in typical jail cells – 90-square-foot rooms with the usual lack of extras.

It's actually a dry-run for the brand-new facility, to help prison officials determine what they're doing right and wrong. The wannabe prisoners even get fingerprinted and outfitted in orange jumpsuits, all the better to make the experience more authentic.

The warden grants that the food might be a bit better for the occasion, saying, "There might be a chicken-fried steak. I haven't seen the exact entree yet. But I know mashed potatoes, green beans, maybe a little salad. We're probably jazzing the meal up just a little bit." (MSNBC)