Chain Of Fools – Redneck Headlines

A Florida man is facing battery charges after he tried to offer a hotel employee the wrong kind of tip - the one attached to his genitals.

The man, whose name was not released, was watching a pornographic movie on his computer when the employee walked into his room to clean the place at around 10 a.m. He offered the cleaning person a beer, which was declined, then walked over and attempted to brush the worker's head and hair - using his hand, as well as a more private part.

At that point, the employee, whose gender isn't listed in the police report, called authorities. Everyone will have to be in court next week to see what pops up next.

Source: NWF Daily News

Chain Of Fools

A Kentucky man was hauled into jail after trying to jump-start his sales career -- by stealing thousands of dollars of jewelry from a store, then trying to sell it back to another location of the same chain.

Seth Scott walked into a Castle store and tried to convince employees on duty to take advantage of his Black Friday deals on what he described as "very distinctive gold chains." Though he'd managed to sell one piece to someone working earlier in the day, the employees immediately recognized the designs as items that were already on sale at their store and called the cops.

When officers arrived, they found more than $20,000 worth of merchandise in Scott's car, as well as a nice array of burglary tools. A store manager said, "Obviously, I don't think his judgment was working properly."

Source: WYMT

Two Drunks Can't Make A Right... or a Left

A New Jersey man is facing charges of driving while intoxicated after being hauled in while bailing out a friend who was behind bars for ... driving while intoxicated.

Joseph Shea was taken into custody after a witness saw him driving erratically at a high rate of speed, while in the parking lot of a south Jersey police station. He tried to flee when cops approached him for questioning, but didn't get far before being busted.

Shea was released without posting bail, and was picked up by a friend -- who hadn't had a drop to drink. No word on what happened to the original booze-hound driver. Philadelphia Inquirer