At least it's not Dancing With The Stars, no offense Laura Ingalls. All the same, prepare to be stunned as I was when I heard that the most macho guy on the planet was going to be featured in an upcoming reality series. That guy is Clint Eastwood....NOOOOOO(echo)OOOOOOOOO!!!!!

I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. After all, this guy did make a movie that co-starred an orangutan. He even came back for a sequel! Obviously Clint doesn't take himself too seriously (that's one of the upsides to being 81). But, I do.

Clint starred in, and directed two of my favorite movies, The Outlaw Josey Wales and Unforgiven. Ironically, Clint might just retain the latter status in my heart if he fails to make this the coolest, slickest, machoest reality show in the history of reality shows! I hope he knows how much his image is riding on this. This is a genre that raises perfume counter squirters to the Forbes list, and demotes real talents like Ozzy Osbourne and Hulk Hogan into meek caricatures of themselves. And I for one, am sick of it! Scott Baio, go for it! RuPaul...I see nothing better on your horizon. But Clint Eastwood?!

The show is called Mrs Eastwood and Company. It's going to begin airing next month on the E! Entertainment Network. And you read right. That says "Mrs," as in Dina Ruiz Eastwood. In the old days, Clint would have never...ever... let the "little lady of the house" seduce him into what will seem to many, the ultimate sell-out.  Clint, you're a movie star for crying out loud! If you need cash, call ME! We'll work something out.

As my skeletal fingers stroke the keys, my bitterness just continues to fuel. I can't believe some of my last memories of Dirty Harry before he dies, might just be squatting over to pick up a fresh pile delivered by the new Pekingese, or walking to the fridge to get some juice and yelling at his wife, "Where's the &^%@#! juice!" Or:

Friend:  Where's Clint?

Dina:     Still sleeping, can't you hear him snoring?

Friend:  That's Clint?!

I do not...I repeat...do not, want to hear anything resembling that. I can't!  I won't be watching or showing my support for this in any way. The Clint Eastwood brand is just too valuable in my eyes. Dina, forgive me. I'm sure you're a sweet girl, who after her first brush with fame co-hosting a new version of Candid Camera, still feels she has something to offer us. If it's just Clint, prepare to suffer the backlash.

I'm done ranting...except to add that the show is also hoping to make stars of their daughter, Morgan, and Clint's 19-year old daughter with Frances Fisher, Francesca. Funny, I just can't help but see a Playboy shoot in their near foreseeable future.

Mrs Eastwood and Company premieres on E!, May 20th. Read the full account here. Check your local listings (or don't).