Don't spend hours scouring the web for the best and weirdest news from around the world - let us do it! Each weekday we proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - P.O.'ed at the PD
#2 - Strip Maul
#3 - Finger Sandwiched!

An Illinois man who was busted on charges of driving while intoxicated decided to compound the D.U.I. by committing a P.U.I. – by peeing on the jailhouse door as he was leaving the building.

Keith Klein was in custody for about 30 minutes while he arranged bail and filled out paperwork for the drunk driving charge, but he apparently couldn't hold back his stream of unhappiness, and let loose against the door in full view of a surveillance camera.

The officer who hauled him in the first time walked out and brought him back for an encore in the holding cell. (Courier Press)

 

Two Los Angeles gang members probably feel like boobs after robbing and kidnapping a man, and forcing him to drive them to a strip club – where they hung out long enough for cops to take them into custody.

The unidentified victim was standing in front of his house when Miguel Ortiz and Sergio Maldonado walked up to him, brandished a gun and demanded he drive them around doing errands, culminating with a stop at the Bare Elegance gentlemen's club. When they arrived there, they took the man's wallet – probably hoping for a wad of singles – and went inside.

Their evening of carousing was nipped in the bud by cops a short time later, and both were hauled off to the pokey. (KCBS)

 

Finger Sandwiched!

A New Mexico man is feeling a little run down after an incident in which he bit off a piece of his brother-in-law's finger, and was then hit by a car when fleeing to avoid a four-finger fist sandwich.

Leando Sage was fighting with his girlfriend when her brother, identified as Robert Martinez, intervened. The two men began to tussle, and Sage decided to do more than just mouth off, chomping down on Martinez's pinkie, severing it at the first joint.

Sage fled the scene after figuring out he'd bitten off more than he could chew, then ran into the street, where he was blindsided by an oncoming vehicle. He was treated and released at a local hospital, but arrested on assault charges. (Columbus Republic)