Gravy Boat Hits Choppy Waters – Redneck Headlines
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Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - A Purr-Fect Crime?
#2 - Getting an F in BB Gun 101
#3 - Gravy Boat Hits Choppy Waters
A Wisconsin woman had a real hissy fit and demanded cops come to her house to investigate public indecency – on the part of two cats who were mating in her yard.
The woman, who was upset that the critters had gone from eating Friskies to getting frisky, dialed 911 to demand that someone be sent out to put a stop to the cat-astrophe that was unfolding on her property. The police blotter did not indicate whether or not cops responded to the scene of what sounds like the purr-fect crime. (Wisconsin Rapids Tribune)
A Florida man had a really nutty story for emergency room workers when he ended up with shrapnel in his arm and leg from trying to shoot a squirrel – with a rifle cartridge that he'd taped to the barrel of his BB gun.
William Daniel Lloyd was trying to rustle up some grub when he began blasting away at the critters using the low-powered firearm, but found he wasn't having any luck, so he decided to up the ante by putting a real bullet into the weapon – which turned out to be a bad idea.
He tried bandaging his wounds himself but continued to bleed through the dressing, so he drove to the hospital, where he was arrested on charges of discharging a firearm in public and possession of ammunition by a convicted felon. (Gainesville Sun)
A Cleveland-area driver avoided charges of reckless driving after he told cops he was stopping his car erratically because he was concerned about his passenger who'd had a few too many shots ... of gravy!
The vehicle was traveling behind a school bus, and was making oddly timed stops, each accompanied by an opening of the passenger door. When questioned, the driver said that he had to keep hitting the brakes because his pal needed to vomit – and the passenger side window didn't open enough for him to do so.
The passenger, who was not identified, admitted that he was trying to vomit because he chugged a bowl of KFC gravy prior to getting into the car. (Cleveland Plain Dealer)