Don't spend hours scouring the web for the best and weirdest news from around the world - let us do it! Each weekday we proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - H-2-Whoa!
#2 - Finger-Lickin' Busted
#3 - Getting Really Trashed

H-2-Whoa!

A Florida woman called cops to tell them that her husband was all wet – for threatening to pour a pan full of water over her head.

The woman, whose name was not released, was hysterical when she called 911 to report that her significant other was planning to rain on her parade with a container of water after they started arguing in their home. She also said he threatened to hit her with the water-filled pan. He was charged with assault and ordered to appear in court next week. (NW Florida Daily News)

 

Finger-Lickin' Busted

A Florida man is going to be cooped up in a jail cell after he was busted in a supermarket for grand theft ... chicken.

A security officer thought he saw Patrick McCall place some food in a five gallon bucket that he was carrying, but when he asked for a peek inside, McCall declined and took wing for the door, where he was met by police. One officer observed McCall eating a fried fruit pie, and another found two pieces of chicken encased in wrapping bearing the supermarket's name – which McCall insisted he'd brought from home.

The deputy, who didn't think McCall had a leg to stand on, issued three misdemeanor charges. (UPI)

 

Getting Really Trashed

An Oregon man ended up trashed after a night on the town – and he's got a very compact story to tell about the experience.

The man, whose name was not released, decided he was too wasted to drive home from getting his drink on, so he opted to sleep it off – in a dumpster. While he was sleeping, the trash hauler employed by the club that owned the container stopped by to empty it into a truck – and turned on the compactor, an experience that left the man shaken up, but mostly unhurt.

The man attempted to flee the crushingly embarrassing scene, but emergency crews put the squeeze on him and convinced him to go to the hospital. (KTVB)

A wanna-be burglar in Georgia is in a ho-ho-hole lotta trouble after getting stuck when he went up the chimney without care during a heist.