I Won The Loch Ness Monster Prize – Redneck Headlines
Here are today’s Redneck Headlines:
#1 – DON’T POOP ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD
#2 – I WON THE LOCH NESS MONSTER PRIZE
#3 – COLD CASH
A female car thief was arrested alongside Interstate 95 in Florida after a Highway Patrol trooper noticed her going to the bathroom on the side of the road.
Melissa Mansfield allegedly stole a car from a man in the Florida Keys, and she made it a couple hundred miles before nature called. She pulled onto the shoulder and started relieving herself, and that attracted the attention of the trooper.
Mansfield said the car was her boyfriend’s, but a quick run of the license plate turned up the truth – she’d taken it from some guy’s driveway. Not surprisingly, the trooper also found multiple open beer bottles in the car.
A boat captain in Scotland has won the annual “Nessie Prize” for submitting the best image of the Loch Ness Monster. Yes, every year they give away 1000 pounds (about $1600) to the person who takes the best picture of the mythical beast.
Marcus Atkinson, who takes tourists on trips looking for Nessie, says he’s never seen anything like the unidentified shape that appeared about 70 feet below his boat. When he spotted it, he quickly got a shot with his phone.
Atkinson says, “When you look at the size of the contact, it rules out any fish or other creatures that would be in the loch. Because of the depth, it rules out seals, deer, etc., which leaves us with only one conclusion.”
Attention robbers – if you’re looking for where people hide their cash, check the freezer before looking under the mattress.
A new poll says that 27 percent of Americans literally freeze their money.
Only 11 percent stick bills under the mattress, and 10 percent bury their money in the cookie jar. 19 percent keep it in the sock drawer.
17 percent of people came up with the most sensible answer, they said there’s no good place in their homes to hide money.