It’s A Wrap – Cowboy’s Troy Diary Of A Groom – The Wedding Chronicles Pt 8
At last, I am a married Cowboy Troy! It feels like it's taken years...several long, exhausting and burdensome years, to get us to this point. I know I mean to exaggerate about our engagement when I put it that way, but it really is true to a certain extent and in a different context. However you choose to take it, I'm just glad it's over!
No, I don't mean the marriage! Please try to have a little more faith o' diary of mine. I'm talking about the &%$#))@ *&%#^((& @!&%$* wedding planning that's been plaguing me for the last 12 months! I'm talking about the endless lists! I'm talking about the ever-changing demands! I'm talking about the further premature loss of my hair. YIPPEE!!
Sorry, I've been cooping that up for a while and I think the time is right to get it out. I feel so free right now, you don't even know. Hercules just tricked Atlas into taking the ball back, y'all! YIPPEE!!!
NOW WE'RE TALKING PAST TENSE.
I don't think I'll be one of those who views marriage as a constraint. But...I'm also not that naïve, and do indeed realize that I might still be experiencing euphoria, and that a member or two of my audience might be uttering to themselves "oh, we'll see..."
And we certainly will! Whoever would've thought that a little oilfield brat from a town of 300 could've have snagged the most precious, gorgeous, smartest, cleverest, and nicest person in the whole entire world?! Seriously, I don't even want to know what her parents initially thought of me. They seem to accept me now, and I'm just fine with that. Thank God I've been able to put a few brain cells to good use and acquire some decent skills. You won't be sorry, new parents! By the way, new family - you were instrumental in helping us achieve the wedding of our dreams. I know it's customary for the bride's family to dig deep, but I would like it on the record that I think you all went well above and beyond. Thank you. I can't fully express the joy I feel upon joining your ranks. I look forward to getting to know all of you a lot better.
WHAT A RIDE!
So let's discuss my lastest and last adventures, because like any good wedding, there were plenty. PLENTY!
So, as you already know, we blew this shindig up into two separate occasions. First came the actual wedding. That meant packing everything up and transporting it to a remote location, including a beautiful theme-oriented wedding cake. This cake was magnificent! It was adorned with a White Chocolate tea kettle that looked like it was actually pouring liquid, tea cups, miniature figurines in action poses, and all kinds of cool detail. Less than half a mile into its journey, this beautiful cake was almost forced into my glove compartment by my future father-in-law, as a result of braking to hard (It was I doing the braking, mind you). But, despite long and winding roads, mountainous terrain, and mounting skepticism, it did arrive at its final destination, almost completely intact.
Geez, this entry is starting to turn into a book! I've got a marriage to uphold for crying out loud! I will try to speed this along, but no promises. :)
Here's another fun story. I had eaten a huge chocolate donut in route to our destination. Like I usually do, I managed to drop some into my lap as I was driving, failing to recognize the extent of things. I had forgotten about this as Honey and I strode in to the clerks' office to get our marriage license. Upon completion, we returned to our vehicle where I noticed big globs of chocolate on the seat. They would pale in comparision to the globs that were still stuck to my butt for all but me to see. I can only imagine that to the clerk's eyes, the thought of marriage as I exited her office, literally was scaring the s*&%t out of me.
Yeah, we laughed at that one for a while.
It was smooth sailing from then on until about twenty minutes before the actual recitation of the "I Do's." That's when I realized that my parrot preacher was nowhere to be found. After talking to him on the phone and not having an idea in hell where he was actually at, my elevated stress levels finally began to show themselves. Nothing like having everyone there, assembled, ready for a wedding - and me, still clad in my sweatpants and "Cheerios" T-shirt, hopping into my best man's vehicle with him for a good old fashioned officiant roundup! After 10 more somewhat frantic calls, I finally threw my phone at BM and let him do the talking. It was probably the best decision I could've made at the point. We eventually tracked the dude down, escorted him to the site, quickly suited up, and with minutes to spare, prepared for what I was still determined to make the best moment of my life. And it truly became that.
And the stories, and our marriage will both last a lifetime. I am absolutely convinced.
There you have it, diary. I made it. We made it! It's been an incredible journey that I never, ever, ever...ever want to endure again! Please, don't be fooled by my somewhat negative statement, there. I'm glad we both decided on this, and didn't go to Vegas as I once half-jokingly suggested (even though Elvis would've been awesome). The whole process has further solidified our commitment. It's made me a bigger person, and I'm so thrilled that I got to play a genuine part in seeing it all through. We've passed our first of many tests, and she is the partner that everyone dreams of. I don't think I'll be nearly as frightened of the challenges that await, thanks to her.
I love you, baby! Thanks for the headaches.
Plus...you, diary, deserve a medal, yourself! Thanks for the therapy, the counseling, and the outlet. I don't think I could have accomplished this feat without you, either.
"Yo, Adrian! I DID IT!!!!"