Each weekday, Rodeo Rick scours the web for the best and weirdest news headlines from around the world. We proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - NUKE TILL YOU PUKE
#2 - JUSTICE IS BLIND AND NAKED
#3 - PAWS TO REFLECT ON THIS

NUKE TILL YOU PUKE!

A man found wandering drunk and naked along the side of an Iowa highway thought it would be a good idea to use the nuclear option by informing cops that he might be dangerous since he'd just handled an atomic bomb.

William Bliss was questioned after cops received numerous calls about an agitated man on the street. When confronted, he said he'd been forced to come in contact with the warhead then admitted his story might have something to do with the fact that he'd downed nine beers and several shots of vodka.

Authorities went to the address Bliss gave them for the suspected bomb, but found nothing.

Source: Iowa City Press Citizen


JUSTICE IS BLIND ... AND NAKED

A Georgia woman stripped naked in a courtroom in order to plead not guilty even though she hadn't been charged with anything and had no reason to be there.

The gal was fully clothed when she walked into the courthouse, but took it all off while seated in the spectator's gallery. The court clerk initially said she couldn't enter a not guilty plea since the woman hadn't been accused of a crime -- so Judge Timothy Barton charged her with indecent exposure, then filed the plea.

The woman was scheduled to be in court the following week, but as a plaintiff to seek battery charges against her son-in-law.

Source: UPI


PAWS TO REFLECT ON THIS

A basset hound who was doggedly determined to fetch help for himself managed to dial the British equivalent of 911 to summon emergency workers to stop him from choking.

George, a playful two-year-old, had knocked the landline off its perch and gotten the cord wrapped around his throat when he began pawing madly at the keypad, eventually dialing 999. The dispatcher didn't exactly understand what the pooch was saying, but was alarmed at the heavy breathing and strange sounds, so she sent someone out to check.

George's 18-year-old owner says he is usually not the brightest light, noting, "He's really dopey and just likes to chew socks."

Source: ShortList

A LUMP OF COAL IN HIS SKULL

A wanna-be burglar in Georgia is in a ho-ho-hole lotta trouble after getting stuck when he went up the chimney without care during a heist.