Justice Is Blind And Not Very Bright – Redneck Headlines

Each weekday, Rodeo Rick scours the web for the best and weirdest news headlines from around the world. We proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - MORE CHUMP THAN CHAMP
#2 - JUSTICE IS BLIND...AND NOT VERY BRIGHT
#3 - FICKLE FINGER OF FATE

MORE CHUMP THAN CHAMP

An intoxicated San Diego man got slapped down after putting up his dukes -- on the hood of a police car.

Jesse James Thomas leapt onto the parked cruiser wearing a sombrero and a single boxing glove, then announced that he'd come to town to make a name for himself.To underscore that attention, he shouted his name at the top of his lungs several times before fleeing down the street.

Officers found him a short time later, lying in the street and muttering incoherently about his greatness. Muhammad Ali he ain't.

Source: Huffington Post

JUSTICE IS BLIND ... AND NOT VERY BRIGHT

A pair of British policemen ended up having a really "ruff" day after busting out the window of a luxury car to save a trapped dog - only to find that they'd rescued a stuffed animal.

The officers, who were not identified, jumped into action after a pedestrian notified them that there was a pooch inside a totally sealed Mercedes. When they tapped on the glass to rouse it, they got no results and sprang into action, freeing the child's toy and causing hundreds of dollars in damage.

The car's owner returned to his car to find the backseat covered in broken glass and an official note that read, "Smashed your window re concern for animal on rear seat." The police have agreed to cover all costs.

Source: Orange News (U.K.)

FICKLE FINGER OF FATE

Some guys who get into bar fights give their opponents the finger, but one New York man took another approach - and bit a finger off his adversary.

Ernest Vannier was caught red-handed and bare-bottomed in an intimate act with a female customer when a bartender objected and intervened. Vannier didn't take kindly to being booted from the bar and registered, shall we say, an oral argument by sinking his teeth into the unnamed employee's pinky, which was all but completely severed.

Doctors at a local hospital were able to reattach the digit, which he used to finger Vannier who now faces up to seven years in prison.

Source: Albany Times Union