Don't spend hours scouring the web for the best and weirdest news from around the world - let us do it! Each weekday we proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - Soap In A Dope
#2 - Justice Is Blind, Not Deaf
#3 - Fried and Smoked

Soap in a Dope

A Virginia woman put a twist on an old tradition by washing her mouth out with soap before going on an expletive-filled rampage and ramming her car into another vehicle.

Angela Cobbold was clocked at over 90 miles per hour by cops who began their pursuit, and noticed that she seemed to be eating a bar of soap during the incident. She crossed the state line into Maryland and drove onto the grounds of Walter Reed Medical Center, where she chased by military police – and even tried to run one of them over.

One of the officers was injured, apparently when he used a baton to break the window of the woman's car. He was taken to the hospital with minor injuries. (Washington Examiner)

 

Justice is Blind, Not Deaf

A Georgia man is hoping to get a fair hearing after being arrested for biting off part of his father-in-law's ear at a family get-together.

The argument began when 29-year-old Jonathan Collins began fighting with his wife because she committed the offense of making another man a sandwich at the soiree. When her dad stepped in to try to calm things down, Collins punched him in the face, then wrestled him to the ground and bit off his earlobe.

Frederick Harrison’s ear lobe was re-attached at the hospital. Collins was booked into the Richmond County jail on charges of aggravated battery. (Atlanta Journal Constitution)

 

Fried and Smoked 

A Florida man was arrested on drug charges after he failed to convince cops he was eating fries and not getting fried.

An officer on patrol says he thought he smelled marijuana coming from a car that was passing through a fast food restaurant parking lot, so he approached when the driver pulled over near the drive-thru window. He asked the driver and her passenger about the presence of marijuana; they told him they smelled only french fries. But when he searched, the officer found a small amount of weed on the floorboard of the front seat.

The passenger was charged with possession of less than 20 grams and must return to court next month. (NWF Daily News)

 

A wanna-be burglar in Georgia is in a ho-ho-hole lotta trouble after getting stuck when he went up the chimney without care during a heist.