Don't spend hours scouring the web for the best and weirdest news from around the world - let us do it! Each weekday we proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - Purr Snatcher
#2 - King of Wishful Thinking
#3 - Laundry Rage!

A New York woman spent the night caged up in jail on charges of "purr: snatching – after deciding that the house cat at her local deli looked sick and needed to be taken to the vet.

Nancy Glassman, a regular at Bagels and Company in Manhattan, thought that Costco the cat seemed under the weather and suggested he be taken to the vet because of an apparent ear infection. When she didn't get any response from management, she sneaked into the back of the place and grabbed the kitty to take him for an exam herself.

Unfortunately, an employee ratted her out, and she could face burglary charges. Glassman remains unrepentant, saying, “I asked, 'So, if I see a child or an animal that’s in distress, I’m supposed to just leave them there?' And they said, 'Yup, you just leave it and call 911.’ I’m gonna help. I can’t see walking away.” (New York Daily News)

 

King of Wishful Thinking

A Canadian man lost his independence when he wound up in jail for declaring himself to be an independent country – and seizing the house he rented to be its headquarters.

Andreas Pinelli moved into the Calgary duplex back in November of 2011, and got permission to renovate it in return for free rent. His landlord agreed that the arrangement could go on for three months, but when she lost touch with him, she went to check on the property and discovered that he'd changed the locks.

Pinelli informed her that he was a "Freeman-on-the-Land" and the home was now his sovereign embassy, so she had no right to it any longer. A judge didn't buy that rationale and ordered him to return to the real world, which he declined to do – earning an arrest for a variety of charges. (UPI)

 

A Florida man got into hot water after assaulting a fellow patron at his local laundromat -- because the other guy was about to use "his" dryer.

Ken Woods stained his reputation by shoving his elderly victim to the ground and delivering several kicks to his torso – then smashing the man's cell phone as he tried to call 911 for help. After arm-and-hammering the phone, Woods took off, thinking he'd be able to make a clean getaway, but several witnesses called Crime Stoppers to turn him in.

He now faces charges of battery on a person 65 years of age or older and property damage. There's no good spin cycle for that. (South Florida Sun Sentinel)