Don't spend hours scouring the web for the best and weirdest news from around the world - let us do it! Each weekday we proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - Green Goo Flows Under Philly
#2 - This Date Was Full of Bull
#3 - License, Registration, Brewski!

Green Goo Flows Under Philly

No Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were harmed in this next story: The Philadelphia Gas Works (PGW) has claimed responsibility behind mysterious, radioactive-looking green goo flowing under Philly streets.

Snapped by a Northern Liberties resident last week, a photo showing a sink hole overflowing with the green stuff went viral on Reddit, with users weighing in on what exactly was in the sinkhole.

PGW says the green-looking fluid is a “harmless food dye” used as a tracer. It helps workers identify the cause of sinkholes, cave-ins and other holes in the ground. (NBC Philadelphia)

 

This Date Was Full of Bull

A Florida man got naked on a first date with a woman he met at a convenience store, but still had a crappy time, after she and two accomplices robbed him at gunpoint and left him unclothed in a poop-filled cow pasture.

Cops found Shaun Paul Williams naked, bloodied and incoherent, claiming he'd been ambushed by a woman named Tree that he'd met a couple of weeks before. She picked him up at his house, accompanied by two men, who she claimed were relatives of hers that she'd be dropping off on the way to their date.

Instead, she drove to the pasture, where one of the men clocked him on the head with a hard object and ordered him to strip or be shot with a handgun that he had in his waistband. The trio robbed Williams of about $200, a prepaid cell phone and his clothing and sneakers.

Williams explained “Basically, it was my stupidity, I should have realized there was something funny about it.” (Raw Story)

 

License, Registration, Brewski!

A Washington state man gave a cop the royal treatment when he was questioned for suspicion of drunk driving, instead of his license, he handed the officer the king of beers!

Omar Medina had just gotten behind the wheel of his car in the parking lot of a convenience store when a policeman noticed that he appeared impaired and moved in to check. He asked Medina to hand over his license, but the 26-year-old had another idea and offered the deputy one of the brews he'd just purchased.

When the man declined, Medina told him he didn't have to co-operate because he was employed by the federal government – as an assassin who'd killed many times while serving the country. Turns out he'd been arrested three times before for DUI, and lost his license as a result. (Newser)