Monkey On His Back – Redneck Headlines
Don't spend hours scouring the web for the best and weirdest news from around the world - let us do it! Each weekday we proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.
Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - Ambulance Chaser
#2 - Pocket Dialer
#3 - Monkey On His Back
A Florida man tested the patience of authorities by pulling a carjacking of an ambulance – as it was in the middle of taking a man to the hospital.
Brian Kada Jr. approached the emergency vehicle while it was stuck in traffic and pulled a gun, forcing the EMT inside to hit the road – at which point he hopped in and changed directions, not realizing there was a patient in the back. Unfortunately for Kada, the ambulance broke down during a chase – leading him to attempt an escape on foot, which didn't work out all that well.
The patient inside was unharmed and taken to the hospital by a different ambulance. (WLTV)
There've been plenty of stories about smart-alecks who've been able to use their heads to unlock new Apple phones, but an Oregon tech blogger has raised the bar by unlocking his using his johnson.
The uber-geek, who didn't release his name, wrote that he wondered if it would be possible for him to replace the standard fingerprint sign-in for the new Touch ID system with a different body part – and quickly discovered that he could. He wrote. "Not only did I successfully register this private part with relative ease, I was also able to use it to unlock the device. I think you can understand why there isn't a video of this one." (UPI)
A Tennessee man was taken into police custody after he went bananas and tried to hunt down the pack of gorillas he thought had invaded his property - despite the fact that they didn't actually exist.
The man, whose name was not released, called 911 to report that the beasts were about to break into his house, but the dispatcher thought he was just monkeying around and tried to calm him down. The counseling didn't work, and the man dropped the phone and grabbed his shotgun instead.
After hearing shots fired, the dispatcher did send out an officer, who found the man sitting in his recliner holding the gun – which he'd used to blow several holes in his own door, but no sign of gorilla presence. He was taken in for a mental evaluation. (Decatur Daily)