Now they’ve gone and done it. It looks as if a group of mad scientists has emerged from a dirty basement in central Switzerland, carrying a handful of pills in which they claim will help motivate a lazy society.

The pill is called Erythropoietin (Epo), and researchers claim that the drug has proven to increase the motivation to exercise in laboratory animals without increasing their red blood cell count.

“Here we show that Epo increases the motivation to exercise. Most probably, Epo has a general effect on a person’s mood and might be used in patients suffering from depression and related diseases,” said Max Gassmann, researcher from the Institute of Veterinary Physiology, University of Zurich.

On the most intense scale, the effects of this bizarre new drug do not appear to be that dissimilar to street drugs such as cocaine, crack, methamphetamines – and at bare minimum, a high dose of trucker’s speed with a Red Bull chaser.

The authors of the study claim that in some previous research, Epo assisted in increasing the exercise capacity of people who have had moderate to severe heart failure. However, there is no mention of the effects this newly synthesized “Swiss Speed” can possibly increase the risk for heart problems.

Still, researchers insist that Epo may be able to help create a healthier society.

“If you can’t put exercise in a pill, then maybe you can put the motivation to exercise in a pill instead. As more and more people become overweight and obese, we must attack the problem from all angles. Maybe the day will come when gyms are as easily found as fast food restaurants,” said Dr. Gerald Weissmann, editor-in-chief of The FASEB Journal.

While there is no doubt that, a healthy exercise regimen can benefit most people, any pill that potentially works by wrapping around a person’s adrenal gland like a hungry python sounds a little risky to us.

 

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