Not Cool As A Cucumber – Redneck Headlines

Cops who were questioning a Florida man about whether or not he was transporting marijuana knew he was a pot-head just by looking at his face where several large chunks of pot were wedged in his beard.

Johnny Lee Fisher was driving recklessly on a road in Orange County, and refused to stop for troopers – until they cut him off and forced his SUV off the road. The officers noticed a strong smell of alcohol as soon as he rolled down his driver's side window, and one noticed that he had nuggets of weed studded throughout his facial hair.

Fisher tried to deny having anything to do with smuggling weed, but a search of his vehicle turned up enough to charge him with a felony. (Huffington Post)

A Florida man fell victim to a carjacker after he proved he couldn't handle his liquor – when it was served in a can thrown at his head, that is.

The man, who was not identified, got into an argument with Benjamin Franklin Cunningham, and when the dispute escalated, Cunningham took a full can of beer and whipped it at his victim's head, knocking him to the ground. While the man was incapacitated, Cunningham hopped into his vehicle and sped off, reaching a high enough speed to prompt cops to pull him over.

Cunningham was charged with aggravated battery, grand theft auto and violation of probation. He was held without bond. (Gainesville Sun)

A British crook found himself in a pickle when he was charged with a greenhouse break-in thanks to DNA evidence he left behind after biting into a cucumber during the heist.

Billy Joe Donnelly had apparently cased the joint beforehand and decided to jimmy his way into the greenhouse, where he swiped a number of items before heading into the owners' home, where he ransacked several rooms as the occupants slept. His lawyer says, "He had been drinking heavily at the time and was riding around on his bike when he entered the greenhouse and he ate some of the produce from there. It was foolish behavior and he was identified by a cucumber."

While the lost items were small potatoes, the robbery gave the homeowners food for thought: They've decided to sell the place and move to a safer location. (Hull Daily Mail)