Don't spend hours scouring the web for the best and weirdest news from around the world - let us do it! Each weekday we proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - Take That Job And Shovel It
#2 - Polly Gets A Fork, Man Goes To Jail
#3 - Now That Takes The Cupcake!

Take That Job And Shovel It

A Florida firefighter did not dig the reception he got when he went to put out a trash fire in the backyard of a Port Charlotte home - because the deranged homeowner hit him over the head with a shovel.

By the time the fire department arrived at the scene, the blaze had been fed with a mattress, blinds, a ceiling fan and several other home appliances - and Gregory Sean Turner was standing by watching the flames rise. When the firefighter turned a hose on the conflagration, Turner began stalking toward him and, not noticing that he was also caught in the spray, smacked him with the shovel.

A cop summoned to the scene deployed a Taser and then handcuffed Turner, who said that he'd started the fire and it was his to do with as he pleased.

Source: WWSB

 

Polly Gets A Fork, Man Goes To Jail

A 63-year-old Everett, Washington man put a fork in it - and now he's going to pay the price.

Richard J. Atkinson fatally stabbed his ex-girlfriend's pet parrot of 18 years with a fork. According to the Daily Herald, he pleaded guilty to animal cruelty and domestic-violence malicious mischief in the August 19th episode.

Atkinson's lawyer claimed that his client doesn't remember what happened, but it might have been brought on by a mix of whiskey and anti-anxiety medication.

The judge in the case ordered Atkinson to undergo a psychiatric review and pay his ex-girlfriend for her parrot and other damaged belongings - and he can't own any animals for five years, but apparently he can still use forks.

Source: AP

 

Now That Takes The Cupcake!

Two Connecticut high school girls are facing expulsion and possible criminal charges for giving classmates a batch of cupcakes that were found to be a bit too moist -- because they were laced with copious amounts of urine.

The seniors, who attend Fermi High School in the town of Enfield, allegedly only gave the specially enhanced treats to kids they didn't like, but when they told one of their pals about the prank, word got around - eventually reaching school authorities.

One student said that "a lot of the people who ate them got really sick" - a fact that might lead to more serious charges than having to repeat Home Ex class. WFSB

A wanna-be burglar in Georgia is in a ho-ho-hole lotta trouble after getting stuck when he went up the chimney without care during a heist.