Each weekday, Rodeo Rick scours the web for the best and weirdest news headlines from around the world. We proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - OFF THE WAGON, HIT BY THE TRAIN
#2 - THAT'S NOT USING THE OLD BEAN
#3 - SHOOTING FROM THE HIP... OR THE BUTT

A Wisconsin fell off the wagon, and straight onto the railroad tracks, where he got slammed by a passing train -- but was so wasted he didn't even realize it!

Thomas Boersma had apparently passed out on a set of tracks where he was spotted by the conductor of a freight train, who couldn't stop in time to avoid him. The conductor did manage to stop, but couldn't find Boersma, who ran off after being roused by tons of rapidly moving metal.

Boersma, who was described as agitated and combative when found nearby, said he didn't remember any train, and refused medical treatment despite injuries to his arm and buttocks. (Living Lake Country)

A disgruntled fast-food customer caused some snap and crackle with his pop -- by tossing a full cup of his beverage onto a cash register and shorting out the joint's whole computer system.

Suresh Chapman had a beef about his order at his local Taco Bell and began melting down, screaming obscenities and eventually drenching the electronics with his soda -- an act that caused $2500 in damage. He also forced the restaurant to shut down for several hours and lose thousands in lost orders -- an amount sufficient enough that he was charged with a felony.

(UPI)

A South Carolina man showed himself to be of very low caliber after going into hiding in the wake of a shootout then getting caught hiding the ammo from the gun he used in his butt.

Pierre Pete was busted at the home of his sister, who assured cops she had no idea where he was an account disputed by her toddlers, who pointed them in the direction of Pete and his accomplice. The deputies found a wide array of illegal items, including a stash of weed and some unlicensed handguns.

As Pete was answering questions, a used shell from a .38 fell out of his rear in front of cops. (ABCNews)

A wanna-be burglar in Georgia is in a ho-ho-hole lotta trouble after getting stuck when he went up the chimney without care during a heist.