Officiants & Bridal Fairs – Cowboy’s Diary Of A Groom-To-Be – The Wedding Chronicles Part 4
It's time for another exciting round of "What's Become Of My Life." Let's get you up to speed on where I'm at in the ongoing process of wedding planning - T minus 3 months, 3 days, and counting. Whoaaaa...!
First of all, let's try something. According to this FB post that I read, when you read something silently...say, like my little diary entry here, supposedly you sound like Morgan Freeman. I guess because he's served as narrator, as well as starred in so many great Hollywood films, your subconscience mind automatically gravitates toward that familiar voice. Personally, I'm calling BS. I haven't heard Morgan yet, and I've been working on this for 20 minutes. I'll keep trying. Wait! Uh, no. Now I'm trying too hard and I sound exactly like Morgan Freeman. Oh, well. Onward!
I'll start off by saying that I'm in a much more peaceful place than I was when last we spoke. You might recall, diary, that I was a tad on edge. We're good now. Don't get the wrong idea. I'm still getting married. It's just that it's starting to feel a lot better...smoother. I'm settling into my groove. Cowboy's gettin' his game on, y'all! Yeah!
I'm down 10 pounds! Yay! Limiting portions, cutting out my daily 44 ounce soda, and exercising really does work! Who would've thought?! I'm sure this is also contributing to my improved attitude. Plus I've learned a new word - "asparagus." Honey's looking really good too! Then again, she's always looked good.
We've recently been discussing (among all of the other things) just who we would like to unite us in matrimonial harmony. We're not having a church ceremony, so Pope Benedict XVI has been ruled out, in spite of the possibility of being forever damned.
She wondered if possibly a friend of ours (I guess you can be ordained over the internet. What a world!) could preside over our ceremony. I guess I might be a little old-fashioned, but I'm searching for just a little more credibility in this department - someone road tested with a few more miles under his belt. Somehow it just doesn't seem as legitimate to have my college drinking buddy who has even more skeletons in his closet than I do, administering this precious lifelong pact between my beloved and I.
We would have liked to have had a very special judge and friend that she had worked under, do the honors. That fell through, so it was on to Plan C - Let Cowboy handle it. And I think I did! How's this for a catch? A guy with the word "single" in his name is topping my list so far. Her mom's a little nervous, but he seems like a rather gentlemanly fellow, with over 53 years of experience. Plus, I think he also has a parrot. He told me he's done nudist weddings, hot air balloon weddings, etc. I was sold at nudist!
Another thing that I've been put through...bridal fairs...and bridal walks...and bridalramas! Okay, so I've only been to two, but it seems like a hundred. Funny thing is, it's not really been that bad. Sure I feel uncomfortable and hate having to stand on my feet for such an extended amount of time, but they also usually display a nicely stocked buffet. When she's distracted by something impressive, I exchange my carrot stick for one of those tasty little meatballs. Actually, four. Cash bars also ease the sting. Entertaining all these different people coming at you from several directions - all with great ideas and services, doesn't really help me narrow down my choices. It just dawned on me that I could end up spending way more than three hundred dollars! On another positive note, I think it's the one venue where women feel comfortable talking with me. They know they're safe.
Well, that was quite a chat, diary. I hope that you got as much out of it as I did. At least you know that I'm still chugging right along. I think Honey appreciates that.
Talk to you soon,