Don't spend hours scouring the web for the best and weirdest news from around the world - let us do it! Each weekday we proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - Jailbird Is The Word
#2 - Unfiltered Stupidity
#3 - Oh Fudge!

 

 

Jailbird Is The Word

A Wisconsin woman who'd had enough of her husband decided to turn him in – on charges of aggravated aggravating.

The woman, whose name was not released, pulled into the parking lot of a local police station after being followed by a patrol car for several blocks. She told the officer that she was planning to head to the station anyway because she'd just picked up her husband and was annoyed at him for swearing and "talking stupidly."

While that's not officially a crime in the state, cops did run Johnnie Bolds' name through the system and found two warrants – enough to arrest him. (La Crosse Tribune)

 

Unfiltered Stupidity

A Florida man notched an unlucky strike when he crashed his car in a drunken stupor, then proceeded to end off cops by making a call to his lawyer – using a pack of cigarettes.

Joseph Jeffrey Holliday was unable to stand up when officers approached him, and repeatedly refused requests to take a field sobriety test. He told the deputies that he wanted to speak to his lawyer first, then pulled out his smokes and made an unsuccessful attempt to dial.

While he didn't make a statement directly to the boys in blue, a recorder in the cruiser captured Holliday spontaneously saying, "You shouldn't drink when you go out. If I would have been sober I wouldn't be in handcuffs right now." (South Florida Sun Sentinel)

 

Oh Fudge!

A Tennessee man is in hot water over some hot fudge -- after assaulting a fast food worker for serving him a sundae that had the topping on the bottom.

James Davis Wilson became irate when he ordered dessert at a McDonald's and got the topsy-turvy treat, prompting him to scream for ice cream – and the restaurant's manager. Things soon heated up, and Wilson ended up taking a swing at Brad Skelton -- a move he says was caused by Skelton's attitude and refusal to replace the sundae.

Wilson said, "The hot fudge should be on top. It freezes up when you get fudge on the bottom of it. I asked them to redo it."

A jury took just one hour to give Wilson a legal licking – and a conviction that could cost him a thousand bucks. (Gawker.com)

 

A wanna-be burglar in Georgia is in a ho-ho-hole lotta trouble after getting stuck when he went up the chimney without care during a heist.