One Big Disgusting Bucket List – Redneck Headlines

A Canadian woman who'd just had her bike stolen saw that the crook was trying to sell the two-wheeler through an ad on Craigslist – so she made an appointment to check it out, then just rode off without saying a word.

The woman, whose name was not released, called the thief and set up a meeting in a McDonald's parking lot. When she got there she asked to take the bike for a test ride – which she did ... right into the parking lot of the business next door, where a friend was waiting with her car trunk open and ready to roll.

Cops scolded her for taking action on her own, but she posted a note online saying she'd tried to call for help, but "the lady told me that someone would call me back and it might not be today. [I told her] THIS GUY IS SELLING MY BIKE RIGHT NOW!!!" (Huffington Post)

Cops in one British town rained on one man's parade after he called 911 to demand a ride because it was pouring outside.

The man, whose name was not released, repeatedly called the emergency number to request a lift, then threatened to contact supervisors if he didn't get his way. The dispatcher initially blew off the call, then decided to send a patrol car over to caution the pesky caller.

But when the officer arrived, he saw that the man had two young children with him and did a good deed, taking them home. A police spokesman said, "He was lucky he was not dealt with for wasting police time." (Digital Spy)

A Florida man made his bid for the title of public enemy number one – and number two – by drenching a stranger with buckets of urine and feces, then trying to assault a police officer with a second round of the nasty stuff.

Monax Alsaint initially tried to bean the woman with a beer bottle, but ended up landing a glancing blow off her lower back. When that didn't have the intended effect, he grabbed a bucket brimming with his bodily fluids and poured it over her – causing her to call 911 for help.

When a deputy arrived to investigate, Alsaint tried to keep the situation fluid, but failed, soaking the sidewalk and getting himself arrested on assault charges. (TC Palm)