Rodeo Rick scours the web each weekday for the best and weirdest news headlines from around the world. We proudly present you our Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:


A disabled thug in Florida managed to pull off a robbery but totally botch the getaway by getting his wheelchair stuck in deep sand when fleeing the crime scene.

The inappropriately-named John Champion held up a convenience store at knifepoint and told the clerk he wasn't concerned about getting caught because cops would "never arrest a handicapped person." Champion proved to be a poor judge of police behavior, because they showed up just a few minutes later and found him sipping a stolen Bud Light Lime in his getaway vehicle, which had gotten lodged in the sand behind the store.

SourceTampa Bay Times

You can safely say that Michael Harper is no whiz kid after the British man put himself in the hospital with third-degree burns.  The result of causing an explosion when he urinated on a transformer during a robbery attempt.

Harper and an accomplice had broken into a power plant to steal copper wiring, which they planned to sell in order to buy heroin. But part way through the process, Harper felt a wee bit of urgency and proceeded to relieve himself onto exposed electrical wires resulting in a fireball that caused disfiguring burns to his privates.

SourceDaily Telegraph

The 11th time wasn't the charm for a Florida man who got hauled in by police after repeatedly calling 911 with nearly a dozen bizarre requests, including several demands for a ride to an unspecified location.

Michael Barker spent much of last Sunday evening making the calls, which also included a plea for help in finding his lost football, until they were finally traced to his cell phone. When a deputy did show up, Barker placed a blanket over his head and went silent, hoping they wouldn't notice that he was there.

Barker was arrested for misuse of emergency services and taken to the local jail without incident.