Rodeo Rick scours the web each weekday for the best and weirdest news headlines from around the world. We proudly present you our Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:

#1 - NO TAXES? THIS MUST BE HEAVEN!
#2 - THE PHANTOM OF THE MILLER LIGHT
#3 - GRAND THEFT BUILDING


NO TAXES? THIS MUST BE HEAVEN!

A Florida man tried to dodge his federal tax payment by claiming a big-time change of address -- to "the kingdom of heaven."

Russell Gentile wasn't claiming to be dead, simply saying he actually lived behind the pearly gates, which absolved him from paying taxes to a mere earth government. He sent the IRS a nasty letter saying they had acted beyond their jurisdiction by pursuing him and said he'd "been as polite and patient as [he] could be."

A judge heard the heaven story and essentially told him to go to hell -- setting a court hearing for Valentine's Day.

Source: Florida Today


THE PHANTOM OF THE MILLER LIGHT

A Wisconsin man didn't have a ghost of a chance of getting police to believe his story about domestic violence charges brought by his wife -- namely that a ghost was responsible for attacking her.

Michael West made the spirited defense after cops arrived at his home in response to an emergency call. The victim had said that the couple was fighting over an imminent foreclosure, and that West dared her to call 911 if she wanted to stop the argument from escalating. When she did, he flipped out.

The officers on scene said that West told them "a ghost" was responsible for the woman's distress, and noted he was visibly intoxicated at the time of the bust.

Source: The Northwestern


GRAND THEFT BUILDING

A pair of crooks in Chicago proved they were serious about committing a warehouse robbery -- by stealing the entire warehouse!

The men used two semi-trucks to pull down the free-standing corrugated structure after calling the owners of neighboring businesses to tell them that it had been sold and was about to be dismantled. When they finished tearing the building down, they piled the metal into the trucks and drove off to sell it for scrap.

A day later, a witness called the property manager to inquire about the now vacant land, and the building's befuddled owner was notified of the tear-down. The crooks are still at large.

Source: Chicago Sun-Times