Show Them The Money – Redneck Headlines

A Florida man was taken to jail for a naked display of indecision -- in which he wandered around the street nude while high on LSD, pleading with people not to cut off his manhood, then begging the same people to do exactly that.

Cops were called after Michael Joseph Silecchia began screaming unintelligibly about God on the University of Florida campus, then stripped off his clothes before getting really weird. When he greeted one of the responding officers with a punch in the head, Silecchia was tased several times, but the stun gun appeared to have little effect on him.

He was taken to a hospital for medical evaluation and charged with several offenses – including spitting on medical personnel when he arrived. (Gainesville Sun)

A South Carolina woman may soon be getting a ride to jail in a government-owned police car after making over 100 requests for rides in an ambulance – because she doesn't have a car of her own.

Audrey Ferguson came up with dozens of fake medical excuses over the past seven years in order to get emergency responders to ferry her to one of the hospitals in downtown Charleston – and from there, she'd go off to do whatever errands she had to do. Since she's actually registered with Medicaid for some illnesses, health bosses don't dismiss her calls out of hand.

A county spokesman said, "We transport her to one of the area hospitals and then oftentimes before we can get our paperwork completed she's signed out from the hospital and gone on to do other things." She's racked up nearly $400,000 in charges for taxpayers at $425 per ride. (WIS)

A UK man thought he would "show them" when he crumpled up his parking ticket and tossed it at the officer who issued it. Instead, he earned himself a $1,300 fine ... for littering!

Timothy Sawyer parked his car in an illegal spot and was issued a fine of $45. Instead of just taking the ticket, he balled it up, threw it at the officer and drove off.

Sawyer refused to pay the fine after seven days, turned down several requests for payment, and ignored his eventual court date. So, the court found him guilty in his absence. The original ticket, littering charge and legal costs amounted to a fine of $1300. (SWNS)