Each weekday, Rodeo Rick scours the web for the best and weirdest news headlines from around the world. We proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - HE'S GONNA GET HOSED!
#2 - WINO ON WHEELS
#3 - STOP AND SMELL THE CITATION

Detroit area cops are just a hair away from arresting a man on indecent exposure charges for wandering into salons and asking for a Brazilian wax while wearing only sheer pantyhose that didn't hide his privates.

The pervy perp has gone to almost a dozen places with his oddball request, making sure to give employees a good look at the areas he's requesting work on. "The man walked to both sides of the counter, apparently so that everyone could clearly see him," the sheriff's office said in a news release.

Source: UPI

Seems a Colorado crook got a case of remorse after stealing a bicycle, because he left it at a courthouse with a note saying he'd only taken it because he was too drunk to drive.

Authorities called Jay Maytin to inform him that his 13-year-old two-wheeler had been left at the Aspen courthouse along with a brief apology reading, "Sorry. I stole this bike. I rode it home. Please give it back Drunk."

Maytin says he has no interest in pressing charges or finding out the identity of the tipsy rider, saying, "I knew a drunk took it because it doesn't have much of a re-sale value."

Source: Aspen Times

A New Hampshire woman may be planting herself in a courtroom after being cited for the heinous crime of planting flowers at her condo complex.

Kimberly Bois got tired of looking at a boring landscape outside her window and decided to liven things up by tossing around some daisies, irises, lavender, and hydrangeas. That didn't sit well with the management company, which ordered her to dig up the flowers, then began levying fines when she didn't pay up.

Bois refuses to do either, partly because her late mom was involved in the planting, and she says the flowers are in her memory. But the attorney for the board says, "The practical implication is that what one person thinks is beautiful, another person thinks is horrible."

Source: Newser

A LUMP OF COAL IN HIS SKULL

A wanna-be burglar in Georgia is in a ho-ho-hole lotta trouble after getting stuck when he went up the chimney without care during a heist.