Don't spend hours scouring the web for the best and weirdest news from around the world - let us do it! Each weekday we proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - Crook Can't Stand The Heat
#2 - Stop Horsing Around
#3 - Ouch Rhymes With Orange

Crook Can't Stand The Heat

A Massachusetts store owner didn't call in the heat when a guy tried to rob his store, but he did call up some heat of his own – by throwing a handful of red hot chili powder into the thug's eyes.

When Saadat Khan was confronted by the gun-wielding crook he pretended to co-operate, moving behind the counter and toward the cash register. But instead of opening the register to get the dough the man demanded, he reached a bit lower and grabbed the cup of spicy powder that he keeps on hand to kick his meals up a notch.

Stunned, the unidentified suspect fled for the door, feeling a bit hot under the collar. He's still at large. (Huffington Post)


Stop Horsing Around

A Scottish man is headed for criminal court after being charged with animal abuse -- for trying to share his lunch with a police horse.

Francis Kelly faces prosecution for disturbing the peace after he offered some of his sausage roll to the steed, saying he thought it looked hungry. The cop assigned to the horse insisted Kelly was "behaving in a threatening, abusive manner" when he fed the critter, then "took an aggressive stance" when ordered to keep his sausage roll to himself.

Kelly, who will appear in court in February, has racked up considerable support via Twitter, including a fellow Scot who asked, "Seriously, is a man to stand trial for feeding a police horse a sausage roll? The world has gone mad. (UPI)


Ouch Rhymes With Orange

An orange turned out to be bad for an Ohio man's health – when he stabbed himself in the chest after tripping over his dog while peeling the thing.

Christopher Lilje showed up at a local emergency room with a blade stuck about three inches into his right pectoral muscle. His mother, who accompanied him to the hospital, told cops that she woke to the sound of her son's screams, then rushed downstairs and found him lying on the floor, the knife protruding from his chest.

Lilje did not suffer life threatening injuries, but said, "I'm a little sore ... my dog follows me around everywhere." (Sandusky Register)

A wanna-be burglar in Georgia is in a ho-ho-hole lotta trouble after getting stuck when he went up the chimney without care during a heist.