That’s Not a Flag He’s Waving! – Redneck Headlines

A New York man was arrested after using Craigslist to share pictures of his girlfriend's two-month-old baby – in order to sell the kid to a perfect stranger.

Paul Marquez wrote up the listing, in which he offered to sell the little girl for a mere hundred bucks, because he felt like the mom was paying too much attention to her – and not enough to him. Naturally, he didn't use that excuse in the ad, which said the tot loves to play, but noted, "She’s really getting on my nerves and I don’t want her.”

A friend said that Marquez was actually a good guy when he wasn't strung out on pain-killers, but his mom was more to the point, telling a reporter, “I'm going to hell already. Leave me the [bleep] alone.”

Marquez is being held on $1,000 bail, which he's been unable to raise. (New York Daily News)

A Florida man is ready to holler uncle after being arrested on DUI charges in the wake of a car wreck that left his sister's SUV in a ditch – and his eight-year-old nephew standing by the side of the road holding an empty bottle of vodka.

Leon Lovelady took the vehicle – and his two young nephews – on the road without permission after his visiting sister went to sleep. He didn't get far before a concerned motorist called 911 to report that he was going the wrong way down a freeway with no lights on – a bit of fancy driving that landed him in a water-filled ditch.

When cops arrived on the scene, Lovelady admitted he'd had several shots, and couldn't perform field sobriety tests because he couldn't remain standing. The boys were not injured. (South Florida Sun Sentinel)

A Florida man was fingered for lewd behavior after cops spotted him at the side of a road waving to passing cars - with both his hand and his johnson.

An officer on routine patrol noticed Timothy Norris Menser peeing in an alleyway outside a food bank, where he was said to be "swaying from side to side and drawing attention to himself." Menser walked towards the street, where a music festival was taking place, and began waving at cars – including a cruiser housing a pair of deputies.

When the officers approached the 53-year-old, he reeked of alcohol, but was not aggressive. A written report says, “When he was told about how families driving by could see what he was doing … he lowered his head in shame." (Fort Myers News-Press)