The Beard Is The Word – Redneck Headlines

A Texas man was busted for a "movement violation" after vandalizing a department of motor vehicles office by defacing it with graffiti drawn with his own feces.

Kenneth James Vanlue was caught in the act by cops who responded to a commotion at the office and found a brake drum thrown through the front window and office equipment smashed inside. When they checked further, they found Vanlue inside, wearing a raincoat belonging to the department, but no shoes and found the word "surcharge" smeared on the wall in human excrement.

According to the arrest report, he was charged with criminal mischief and burglary of a building. No word on what drove him to the act. (Austin American-Statesman)

An Indiana man is facing a fine for a drunk driving arrest, but he might be able to pay it off if he gets a reward for calling 911 to turn in a drunk driver... himself!

Matthew Devore called the emergency number in the wee hours of the morning to report that he was wasted and needed to be taken off the road. Cops tracked Devore's call and found him pulled to the side of the road with a flat tire, which he got after driving onto a grassy median.

He told the officers that he'd gotten drunk and decided he was "sick of Indiana" and decided to go for a drive, but didn't manage to get to the state line. He was arrested on charges of operating a vehicle while under the influence. (The Indy Channel)

Politics can get hairy sometimes, but not nearly often enough for a new political group that's uniting in order to promote the election of more candidates with beards.

Missouri native Jonathan Sessions says he founded The Bearded Entrepreneurs for the Advancement of a Responsible Democracy – or BEARD – because he noticed an "alarming" downturn in bearded congressional representatives in recent years. Sessions says, "With the resurgence of beards in popular culture and among today’s younger generation, we believe the time is now to bring facial hair back into politics."

The group will back candidates from both major parties, as long as they have sufficient facial hair. For the record, it's been 97 years since a bearded man was even nominated for a presidential run. (The Hill)