Each weekday, Rodeo Rick scours the web for the best and weirdest news headlines from around the world. We proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - Smokin' Ape To Kick The Habit
#2 - Go Directly To Jail
#3 - Throwing The Good Book At Her

Smokin' Ape To Kick The Habit

An ape is going cold turkey. Tori the orangutan, who lives in a zoo in Indonesia, is being shipped with her mate to a small island to help her quit smoking.

Getting Tori to kick the habit has been difficult − because zoo visitors find her smoking entertaining and keep throwing cigarettes into her cage.

Tori learned how to smoke by imitating visitors. At first, she smoked the lit butts thrown into her cage. But now, when she wants a cigarette, she puts up two fingers to signal her desire for a smoke, If the visitors refuse to give her one, she starts throwing things at anyone within reach.

Her mate Didik does not share her habit. In fact, when visitors throw lit cigarettes to him, he stamps them out.

The Center for Orangutan Protection and zoo officials are planning to move Tori and Didik to a small island in the middle of the Central Java zoo’s lake. (JakartaGlobe.com)

 

Go Directly To Jail

Police were happy to oblige a man's request to be taken to jail ... after he caused $800 in damage to a deputy's patrol car.

20-year-old Shakeem Fleming approached a deputy outside the Bradenton, Florida, police department and told her he "wanted to go to jail."

He put his hands behind his back and told the deputy he did not have any ID. When another officer arrived on the scene Fleming reportedly climbed onto the hood of the patrol car and jumped up and down. "Are you going to arrest me now?" he asked.

Fleming, who, as it turns out, was carrying his birth certificate and Social Security card, was granted his wish.

Fleming allegedly told the deputies he wanted to go to jail because he "had something to do." (UPI)

 

Throwing The Good Book At Her

A judge handed down a sentence of Biblical proportions when he ordered a South Carolina woman convicted of DUI to read the Old Testament Book Of Job and do a book report on it.

Cassandra Tolley was convicted of Driving Under the Influence after she drove down the wrong side of the road and crashed into an oncoming car, seriously injuring two men. She was more than four times the legal limit.

In addition to a sentence of of eight years in prison followed by five years' probation and substance abuse counseling, Circuit Court Judge Michael Nettles told Tolley to read the Bible's Book Of Job and then do a written summary of it.

While the homework part of the sentence is unusual, and out of the judge's jurisdiction, legal experts say that because Tolley consented to the task, it is acceptable.

“Under normal circumstances, the judge wouldn’t have the authority to do that,” said Kenneth Gaines, a University of South Carolina law professor. “You can’t just arbitrarily add anything you want to a sentence ... But if she consented, it’s really not an issue. It’s critical that the defendant was in entire agreement with it.” (Huffington Post)

 

A wanna-be burglar in Georgia is in a ho-ho-hole lotta trouble after getting stuck when he went up the chimney without care during a heist.