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Time To Steal The Donuts – Redneck Headlines

Don’t spend hours scouring the web for the best and weirdest news from around the world – let us do it! Each weekday we proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today’s Redneck Headlines:
#1 – The Case Of The Dopey Deputy
#2 – Time To Steal The Donuts
#3 – A Stinky Shot

The Case Of The Dopey Deputy

A Georgia cop is behind bars after going shopping on her lunch hour — and making a stop to buy illegal prescription drugs from a dealer who turned out to be an undercover officer.

Christina Allen showed some signs of being a savvy shopper, asking if she could get a discount because she was a police officer, but demonstrated considerably less wisdom in not recognizing one of her fellow county cops as the vendor. Ironically, she was in the midst of training to move up in the department ranks, and was using the drugs to stay awake while studying for upcoming tests.

Allen has been placed on administrative leave pending a trial on drug charges.

Source: WSB TV

 

Time To Steal The Donuts

Florida cops busted a man for felony impersonation of a law enforcement officer after he was caught doing a spot-on impression — by demanding free donuts from a Vero Beach eatery.

Clayton Joseph Schwey repeatedly demanded freebies from a Dunkin’ Donuts shop, claiming that he was entitled to the goods as a condition of his gig with the DEA. When asked for some identification to back up his claim, he insisted he wasn’t allowed to carry any thanks to the sensitive nature of his work — investigating crooked cops in the area.

The mental munchkin was quickly arrested and is being held without bail.

Source: UPI

 

A Stinky Shot

A Texas woman learned that her aim really stinks after trying to shoot a skunk in her yard — and putting a bullet into her husband’s belly instead.

The woman, whose name was not released, was ticked off at the wild animal for eating food out of the bowls she and her hubby leave out for their pet cats. So she grabbed a handgun out of her purse and fired off a round — which ricocheted off the porch, through the screen door and into the lower abdomen of her husband, who was inside at the time.

He wasn’t badly hurt, and both husband and wife reportedly cooperated with cops in the investigation — as did the skunk. A police source says, “He actually came back while our investigators were at the scene and tried to feed again off the cat bowls. We chased it off.”

Source: MSNBC

A wanna-be burglar in Georgia is in a ho-ho-hole lotta trouble after getting stuck when he went up the chimney without care during a heist.

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