I have never watched one single episode of Dancing With The Stars. It's not that I hate the show or anything, I just don't see the point of watching a bunch of privileged people doing the mambo. I mean, don't they get enough face time as it is?

That changes this year. While I don't know most of the "stars" competing this year, I am pretty geeked to see Chong, MMA's Randy Couture, and Alfonso Ribiero (aka Carlton) shake what their momma's gave them.

Obviously, there's a joke in here somewhere about Alfonso doing the "Carlton". I'm just too lazy to find it.

Randy Couture is one of the most decorated MMA fighters in the history of the sport. While athletes are known for their coordination and agility, Randy was a wrestler who spent most of his career on the ground. So...will his instincts kick in as he's dancing, and will he end up putting his partner in a guillotine? That would be classic.

Tommy Chong in a serious competition? I doubt that. Odds are, he'll be the first one booted from the show. But that's OK. He'll most likely be so stoned, he'll think he's won. Again, classic.

Read below for a complete list of competitors:


Jonathan Bennett & Allison Holker

Tommy Chong & Peta Murgatroyd

Randy Couture & Karina Smirnoff

Betsey Johnson & Tony Dovolani

Lolo Jones & Keoikantse "Keo" Motsepe

Bethany Mota & Derek Hough

Janel Parrish & Val Chmerkovskiy

Tavis Smiley & Sharna Burgess

Alfonso Ribeiro & Witney Carson

Sadie Robertson & Mark Ballas

Antonio Sabato Jr. & Cheryl Burke

Lea Thompson & Artem Chigvintsev

Michael Waltrip & Emma Slater