Two All Beef Patties, No Brain – Redneck Headlines

An Illinois man who wanted insurance executives drawn and quartered over a payout dispute settled for just quartering them – by repaying his settlement in 25 cent pieces ... four tons of them!

Roger Herrin was ordered to repay more than $150,000 that he was awarded after an automobile accident killed his son back in 2001, a decision he disagreed with, but managed to comply with – while getting his revenge against the bean-counters in the process. Herrin says he initially wanted to get the cash to their lawyers' office in pennies, but found it impossible to collect enough of them.

So instead, he rustled up 150 sacks of quarters, and had them delivered by a flat-bed truck. The move was "surprising," according to one lawyer, who said, "We don't have safes or vaults, and we lock our front door. Advance notice would have been nice, because we could have made arrangements to have it delivered to the bank." (Associated Press)

A California cop is feeling the heat after he spiced up a traffic stop – by secretly dousing a teen driver's pizza with pepper spray before sending him on his way.

Officer Juan Tavera pulled over the unidentified teenager for a moving violation and wrote a ticket, then noticed a pizza on the seat and spritzed it with the eye-watering spray when he wasn't looking. The young man and the friends he shared the pie with all became ill, and were told that they'd ingested the poisonous spray.

Tavera, who's been placed on leave, could be jailed for a year. (KNBC)

A Georgia man ended up behind bars after calling 911 to settle a beef – with his local McDonald's, which he claims shorted his order by one burger.

The disgruntled customer, whose name was not released, says that he ordered seven double cheeseburgers, but when he got to his truck, he found only six. When he went back to complain, he says the cashier gave him "attitude," which led him to call the emergency number.

He told the responding officer that he "wanted to be treated with respect" – which he may or may not have gotten when that deputy booked him on charges of abusing 911. (Consumerist)