Unstable for Their Cable – Redneck Headlines

When cops pulled over a Florida man for erratic driving, they could tell he was half in the bag – because he was tooling down the highway with his airbags fully inflated.

Alan Alt was shoeless, shirtless and covered in vomit when officers flagged him down for questioning. When quizzed, he said, "I did not ... oh, wait a minute, I did drink today" before admitting that he had been in an accident – although he didn't remember when or where it took place.

The deputy, who described Alt as anxious and apologetic, said the man mumbled something about trying to hide his gun before falling asleep in the back seat of the cruiser. (South Florida Sun Sentinel)

A Wisconsin woman is in jail after being accused of holding two men against their will – and forcing one of them to have sex with her.

Police responded to a call from neighbors who heard a loud argument and a man screaming for help from inside a house.

When the cops arrived, they found 52-year-old Terry Boyd blocking the entrance.

And then, one of the guys trapped in the house threw a set of keys to officers - who then forced their way in.

The men told the cops that Boyd refused to let them leave until one of them had sex with her.

She is being charged with false imprisonment, obstructing an officer, and disorderly conduct. (Complex.com)

A handful of Connecticut residents did not get a very good reception from their local police – after they flooded 911 with complaints that their cable had gone out.

The cranky couch potatoes were enraged when their viewing schedules were interrupted on Sunday night, so they decided to turn to emergency dispatchers to settle the problem – which didn't sit well with cops in the ritzy town of Fairfield. Rather than go door to door handing out summonses to the violators, the department opted to use its Facebook page to issue a warning that calling 911 for trivial matters is a crime.

One Fairfield resident took to his own Facebook account to write, "Yes, this was a huge misuse of 911, but privately, I think it was kind of awesome." (Hartford Courant)