Where There’s Smoke, There’s Nudity – Redneck Headlines
Here are today’s Redneck Headlines:
#1 – WHERE THERE’S SMOKE, THERE’S NUDITY
#2 – THEY MUSTARD UP SOME OUTRAGE
#3 – CALL HIM THE LOW-HANGING JUDGE
A woman traveling through Denver’s airport saw her vacation go up in smoke after she lit up a cigarette in the concourse. She was told by airport workers to snuff it out, which she did – but not before tearing off every stitch of her clothing.
The woman, whose name was not released, was not behaving erratically before her strip-tease, and offered no resistance when approached by authorities. Because she wasn’t violent, she was released with only a warning which didn’t please all her fellow passengers.
One passer-by said, “No one really noticed her at first because people were trying to get to their planes. Then everyone realized she was just standing there completely naked.”
Some college students in Massachusetts are not going to relish the punishment that’s bound to “ketchup” with them – for tying up some of their fraternity brothers and dumping them in a basement virtually naked and slathered in condiments.
Cops arrived to investigate a noise complaint at a Boston area home and found five young men in that compromising position. They also found multiple red solo cups filled with warm beer and sardines.
The house is registered to a fraternity that once counted Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg as a member, but the landlord is looking to evict the frat.
There were no ifs ands or butts about the message that an Alabama judge wanted to send a man on trial for receiving stolen property – show me your butt crack and I’ll show you the inside of a jail cell.
Judge John Bush called out defendant LaMarcus Ramsey for showing up in court wearing jeans that sagged low enough to show off his underwear and a spot of skin as well. While he has yet to rule on the original charge, he gave Ramsey a three-day sentence for contempt of court over the jeans.
Bush offered this advice: “You can spend three days in jail. When you get out you can buy pants that fit, or at least get a belt to hold up your pants so your underwear doesn’t show.”
Source: Montgomery Advertiser