In our endless search for profound journalism, we came accross this little gem. Pardon us for not being able to find a picture that adequately does this story justice. You'll see what we mean. It really cracked us up, and we think you'll be impressed, too.

It appears that a drunken would-be performance artist, visiting the Clyfford Still Museum in Denver, decided to spruce up a $30, 000,000 piece of artwork with her a$$. Yes, I typed $30 million! Carmen Tisch, who looks pretty unconventional in her mugshot, dropped trou on Still's "1957-J no. 2 (how punny is that?). She also managed to punch and scratch the masterpiece. Thankfully it was spared something worse, as Carmen attempted to go no. 1 on it, but fortunately missed. 

"It doesn't appear she urinated on the painting or that the urine damaged it, so she's not being charged with that," Kimbrough said according to the Denver Post.

Without further scraping the "bottom" of the barrel, just know that Clyfford Still was a some-what famous post-WWII abstract expressionist artist. He stipulated that his works and estate would be given to an American city that would honor them with their own museum. I sure he never could have even imagined them having a run-in with Carmen, who managed to do at least 10 grand in damages. You just know this girl is a good time!

The comments that people have responded with have made this piece even more fun. Gotta love Denver.

Thanks to Southern Cal's NBC and The Times Leader.