Yo, Ho, Ho And A Bottomless Thief – Redneck Headlines
Each weekday, Rodeo Rick scours the web for the best and weirdest news headlines from around the world. We proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.
Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - YO, HO, HO AND A BOTTOMLESS THIEF
#2 - THE FATHER OF OUR McCOUNTRY
#3 - BUTTERFINGER BURGLAR
Rum mixes with coke, but not with pants.
That seems to be the philosophy of a Florida man who was nabbed stealing a bottle of Captain Morgan's from a family home - while stark naked!
A 14-year-old girl spied Kennan Kleuesener sneaking off with the rum and told her dad, who apprehended the bare-butted boozer in his front yard and held him at gunpoint until cops arrived.
Heather Speights cannot tell a lie - she'd like to raise big bucks by selling a Chicken McNugget that she says is the spitting image of George Washington.
The Nebraska woman says she saw the resemblance when her kids got the nugget as part of a Happy Meal more than three years ago and managed to keep them from sinking their wooden teeth into it.
She'd placed it in her freezer and all but forgotten about it until a church sermon inspired her to try to sell it for a charity auction. So far, she's been offered a hundred bucks.
Source: Sioux City Journal
A Florida thug found out that money can't buy everything after trying to buy back the gun he dropped while trying to rob two men in a motel room.
Cedrick Mitchell barged into the room one night last week, demanding that the occupants give him some pills. When they declined, he pulled a gun and told them to hand over "everything you got."
They fought back, subduing him with pepper spray and causing him to drop his weapon. After clearing his head, Mitchell returned in a more polite mood, offering 40 bucks for the return of his gun only to receive a counter-offer of more pepper spray.
Officers responding to a 911 call from the men arrested Mitchell a short distance away.
Source: Miami Herald