Got Their Goat – Redneck Headlines

Some people try to hang onto memories of departed pets with photos, but one Florida woman was arrested for trying to hang onto hers via a forged prescription for puppy painkillers, which she intended to use herself.

Suzanne Lee Kraus worked as an assistant in a veterinary office, where her dog, Higgins, was also a patient until he was euthanized by her boss. Nine months after the pooch's passing, Kraus wrote up a prescription for hydrocodone and prescription strength acetaminophen pills in Higgins' name, which raised questions due to the number of pills – and the fact that acetaminophen is deadly to dogs, and never prescribed to them.

Kraus was charged with petty theft, obtaining a controlled substance by fraud, fraud in obtaining prescription drugs and forgery. (Huffington Post)

A Florida woman rang up a heap of trouble by calling 911 eight times within the course of an hour – to complain that the phone she was using wouldn't make calls.

Kellie Williams had just purchased a new phone and couldn't figure out how to get it out of its pre-sale mode, which only allowed her to make emergency calls. So instead of reading a manual, she opted to call the emergency number to ask for advice on the matter, eventually cursing out a dispatcher who told her to call the phone company for help.

Between expletives, she said, "You're the only person I can call" and demanded that someone be sent over to fix her phone. (Central Florida News 13)

A group of Tennessee emergency responders were sent out in search of a man screaming in pain, but soon found out they were on a wild goose chase – or, more accurately, a wild goat chase.

Deputies Will Page and Gary Davis were dispatched to a wooded area to look for the screaming person after receiving a call to 911. Page said that he heard the sounds and was concerned, but when the two men followed their ears, they were led to ... a goat tied to a fence.

After determining where the critter belonged, the deputies continued their investigation, and, as Page puts it, “I spoke to the owner, who stated that he was going to take care of the goat. We then returned to the complainant and notified her that everything was okay.” (Cookeville Herald-Citizen)