Joker Arrested for DUI – Redneck Headlines

A crook in North Dakota got in touch with his inner Homer Simpson by breaking into a woman's home and helping himself to life's two major necessities – some freshly cooked bacon and a few cans of beer.

The thief broke out a bedroom window in the Bismarck-area house and made his way to the kitchen, where he fried up a few slices of bacon in the woman's microwave. The salty snack apparently left the intruder with something of a thirst, since he also made off with three cans of Bud Light that were stashed in the fridge.

Nothing else was reported stolen, but then again, after bacon and beer, what else do you need? (Bismarck Tribune)

A California man got more of a charge than he bargained for when he tried to juice up his cell phone, only to have it explode, because he was getting high by huffing propane at the same time.

The man, whose name was not released, was parked on a suburban Los Angeles street inhaling the intoxicating, but extremely flammable, gas when he got the urge to charge his phone – creating a spark that blew off the roof of his truck and burned a good bit of skin off his face and chest. He exited the vehicle and passed out on a lawn, where first responders picked him up and transported him to a hospital.

A police spokesman said, “Propane is a dangerous gas. This guy is the luckiest guy in the world. You can’t make this stuff up." (LA Times)