That Vodka Is Mayan – Redneck Headlines

You snooze, you lose ... your life. That lesson was almost driven home to a Minnesota man who decided to take a nap on a set of railroad tracks and stay there even after being ordered to move.

The engineer stopped his train after spotting John Sommers lying on the tracks, and went to check on the 50-year-old's well-being. He nudged Sommers and got the man to sit up briefly and explain that he was taking a shortcut home after a night of drinking.

Sommers, who has no fixed address, was charged with trespassing. (St. Paul Pioneer Press)

Boxing Lessons Needed

A Cleveland-area woman called cops to report that she'd taken a bite out of crime by trapping a burglar in a box, only to have them show up to find she was a drunk dialer with an empty container.

The woman insisted that she'd had the intruder sealed up securely in the over-sized box, but that he managed to escape. A further search revealed no sign of forced entry, but did turn up a bottle of liquor on the kitchen table, which she admitted she'd been enjoying over the course of the evening.

A Russian entrepreneur has started marketing an end-of-the-world kit for folks who believe the Mayans are right about the apocalypse hitting next month – and believe they need a whole lotta vodka to prepare.

The package, which sells for the equivalent of $27, is loaded up with a can of fish, candles, matches, soap and a large bottle of booze – everything you might need in case you survive the end. Oh, and for those who do survive and wish they hadn't, there's a length of rope designed to facilitate an easy exit by hanging.

More than 1000 of the kits were sold before authorities stepped in, since the vendor did not have  a license to dispense alcohol. (UPI)