Don't spend hours scouring the web for the best and weirdest news from around the world - let us do it! Each weekday we proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today's Redneck Headlines:
#1 - Heavens To Mercury
#2 - A Doggone Bad Babysitter
#3 - The Dog Ate My Drug Money

Heavens To Mercury

School officials in one Florida district got overheated over a chemistry teacher's asking students to bring in something from the periodic table –by putting the school on lockdown when one kid brought in a thermometer that contained mercury.

Authorities defended the decision, saying that mercury, a toxic substance, has no place on a school campus – and insisted that the teacher should have issued a warning that certain elements from the table were off limits. (WTSP)


A Doggone Bad Babysitter

A Florida man is in trouble with authorities because he went out drinking and left a 10-month-old baby in the custody of his pet pit bull.

James Irvine agreed to watch the infant for a friend, but couldn't resist the lure of a tall cool one, so he put his pooch in charge. The little girl's mom discovered the "ruff" situation when she returned home from work and found Irvine wasted and trying to enter the house through a garage door. When she started to read him the riot act for leaving the tot alone, he said there was nothing to worry about, since the pit bull was on the scene.

He's charged with child endangerment. (UPI)


The Dog Ate My Drug Money

A North Carolina man couldn't get a note from his mom, so he tried to get one from an Arizona police department – in an effort to tell a local drug cartel that he'd lost $20,000 of their cash and wanted to apologize.

DeMarco Thomas, who was working as a courier for the dealers, misplaced the cash and was concerned that the loss could put his life in danger, so he thought he could get the cops to give him a receipt saying they'd seized the dough. Instead, the officers arrested him and seized the cash he had on him.

They asked him to sign papers turning over that cash and admitting guilt, but he declined  and is still facing charges. (Arizona Star)






wanna-be burglar in Georgia is in a ho-ho-hole lotta trouble after getting stuck when he went up the chimney without care during a heist.