Now That’s A Bible Belt! – Redneck Headlines

A Florida man who was cited for leaving the scene of an accident told cops that had to run – because he had the runs, thanks to a bad Chinese meal.

Carlos Baca backed his pickup truck into a parked car and sped off but returned a while later after cops had arrived to investigate. The 27-year-old, who was driving without a license, admitted that he'd fled the scene, but passed the blame for his actions to a local restaurant he said had upset his stomach.

The police report for the incident says, "Baca apologized for leaving, but believed he had no choice, as he was on the verge of defecating in his pants." He's charged with misdemeanor charge of driving without a license. (TC Palm)

A Michigan woman was left spinning her wheels during a robbery attempt – because she accidentally locked herself into her getaway car and was unable to leave the scene of the crime.

The woman, whose name was not released, loaded up the vehicle with items she stole from a hotel on the Upper Peninsula, but when she finished piling in the goods, she hopped in – and found out she didn't have the keys. That wouldn't normally be a problem, but the busted-up car had broken interior door latches and power windows -- meaning she couldn't even roll down the window to get out.

Workers noticed the missing items and spotted the panicked crook outside, so they called cops, who freed her from one lockup and drove her down to another one. (Click On Detroit)

A North Carolina woman was arrested after she took Bible-thumping to a whole new level – by giving a female friend a severe beating with a copy of the Good Book.

Evelyn Mills Moore opened up a can of Old Testament on the victim, causing numerous bruises and abrasions to her head, face and arms before attacking a man who came to the other woman's defense. The Bible belting landed Moore behind bars on felony assault charges. (Gaston Gazette)