Sex Saves Lives

An elderly Chinese woman is striking a blow for traffic safety – with the help of a blow-up sex doll.

Lin Chen got fed up with motorists streaking by her home, sometimes crashing on a winding stretch of pavement, so she decided to tie the sexy blow-up babe to a tree directly outside. She dressed the doll in slinky red lingerie and pointed it at traffic – and succeeded in bringing the accident rate way down.

She told reporters, "The police aren't interested so I bought this doll and tied it to the tree. I thought that drivers would slow down if I could give them something worth looking at."

A police spokesperson admitted that the unconventional trick has worked, noting, "It's not a method we would use, but we can't say it isn't working." (Daily Mirror)

Grease Is The Word

Talk about a slippery situation ... an Illinois man was arrested for walking the street naked and covered in Crisco.

Chad William Forber was said to be visibly intoxicated when he was stopped by cops in the town of Rock Island. He told the officers that he'd taken off his shorts, which he was carrying, because they were too big and wouldn't stay on. He forgot to mention that they also contained several grams of meth, although when cops asked about the drug, Forber admitted it was his – and said he was just looking for a place to party.

Forber got some good news and bad news upon being booked. The lewd conduct charge against him was dismissed, but he faces two to five years behind bars on drug possession charges. (Quad City Times)

Caught Him Dead To Rights

A Las Vegas cop caught a motorist who ran through a red light in the course of a short pursuit, but didn't arrest the man – because he was already dead!

The officer began following the vehicle because he noticed it moving erratically and when it went through a light and jumped a median, he jumped into action. When the car finally came to a halt after crashing into another vehicle, the officer approached – and found that the driver's side door had several bullet holes, as did the driver.

As of late Sunday night police had no witnesses, and no motive. (Las Vegas Review Journal)

Sex Saves Lives – Redneck Headlines