Social Distancing as Explained By a Redheaded Person

For most people, social distancing has been a new concept for many to understand in 2020. However, this idea is old news for redheaded people. I'll attempt to explain.

Full disclosure: I am indeed a redheaded person. I have been involuntarily social distancing my entire life. Before I explain my experiences, note Johns Hopkins Medicine's definition of social distancing:

Social distancing is deliberately increasing the physical space between people to avoid spreading illness.

The accepted standard is 6 feet apart. That's the distance it is believed that could protect you from being infected by dangerous viruses. As a redheaded person, I can tell you this is easier than you think.

I didn't realize it until this crisis, but I have been social distancing my entire life. Here are some examples:

As a child, I was a big fan of Opie Taylor on The Andy Griffith Show who also had red hair. Do you remember Opie ever having a girlfriend? Nope. Social distancing.
In middle school, boys and girls were asked to pair off for square dancing class. As a redheaded person, I had no partner. Social distancing.
In 1994, the Eagles held a reunion tour with sold out shows across America. I had tickets, but no date. Social distancing.
In 1995, Van Halen had their last tour with Sammy Hagar. I had tickets, but no date. Social distancing.
As an adult, shopping for groceries for my family during panic buying yet I have the entire frozen food section at the grocery store to myself. Social distancing.

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. This is a very serious subject that people really need to understand and practice, but I can't help but wonder why the authorities don't call upon redheaded experts like me. We could seriously help because being shunned by society comes natural for many of us. Seriously.