Too High To Fly – Redneck Headlines

Monkeying Around At The Airport

Airport authorities in India went ape when they discovered a passenger trying to get out of the country with a rare monkey hidden inside his underwear.

Al Dhaheri Hamad was detained when a security officer spotted him attempting to conceal a tiny, seven-inch long Loris monkey – an endangered species native to Thailand – in his undies for a flight to the Middle East. When he and his traveling companions were caught monkeying around by customs officials, they confessed and led them to a trash can where they'd stashed a second monkey in hopes of moving it later. (UPI)

Too High To Fly

A passenger on a flight out of Dubai went from first class to no class by wandering around the airplane cabin stealing food from the plates of other fliers, and demanding that the crew "put on some bleeping music."

Bela Chopra didn't wait for flight attendants to bring around the beverage cart before breaking out her own bottle of gin and swigging openly, then asking that the safety instructions be replaced by some tunes. When that request was ignored, she got up and snagged snacks from her fellow passengers, cursing a blue streak the entire time.

Chopra blamed her outburst on her fear of flying, which she says caused her to drink excessively before boarding. (Daily Mail)

The Bird is the Bleepin' Word

A Rhode Island woman has given new meaning to the phrase flipping the bird after allegedly teaching her pet cockatoo to curse out her ex-husband's new gal pal.

Lynne Taylor was none too happy when her hubby took up with the next door neighbor, identified as Kathleen Melker, so she began expressing her displeasure by doing things like throwing rocks at the other woman's house. When that didn't deliver the message, she called upon a rfeathered friend, Willy, who leaned to call Melker "whore" and other names at Taylor's request.

While the name calling itself is not illegal, Taylor -- and Willy -- are now being accused of violating a local animal-noise ordinance. (USA Today)