16 Ridiculous Predictions For Wyoming in 2016
2016 is going to be an interesting year. Donald Trump could be our next President. The Chicago Cubs are the betting favorites to win the World Series. We truly are living in Bizarro World.
With that in mind, here are 16 completely ridiculous predictions for the great state of Wyoming in the new year:
1. While in Casper for a campaign fundraiser, high winds will blow Donald Trump's toupee all the way to Nebraska. Ashamed and humiliated, Trump will drop out of the race.
2. Needing 26,000 signatures, the petition to place a medical marijuana referendum on the Wyoming ballot will fall only 26,000 signatures short.
3. In a last ditch effort to bolster the state economy, Santa's naughty list will officially be sponsored by Wyoming coal.
4. Wildlife biologists outside of Douglas will finally confirm the existence of the elusive Jackalope. The animal will quickly be named an endangered species. Tragically, it will later be mauled to death by a family of jealous sage grouse.
5. The City of Buford will adopt a "no smoking" ordinance, forcing the town's only citizen and building to immediately go out of business.
6. Casper will officially suspend sales of Fireball Cinnamon Whisky within the city limits. The local crime rate will be cut in half.
7. Cheyenne Police will name the controversial bear carving on 3rd Avenue and Warren as a suspect in one of the city's several unsolved homicides.
8. University of Wyoming mascot Pistol Pete will be forced to forfeit his scholarship after accidentally shooting Cam the Ram.
9. Strapped to find an act other than Journey, Cheyenne Frontier Days will book "The Wiggles" for their annual rock concert.
10. In an effort to cut the state's budget shortfall, Wyoming Governor Matt Mead will sell the city of Rock Springs to Utah. The transaction will include a clause forcing Utah to take Evanston and Rawlins too.
11. A woman from Wamsutter will become the first Wyoming contestant to ever win the Miss America pageant. She will later be named Miss Universe, only to have her title stripped when the judges realize they actually intended to crown Miss West Indies.
12. The town of Chugwater will officially change its name to Chugbeer.
13. A massive windstorm will topple the world's largest elk antler arch in Afton, Wyoming. Hometown hero and former Olympic champ Rulon Gardner will come to the rescue, lifting the structure with one hand while freeing victims trapped in the rubble with his other hand. Miraculously, everyone will escape without injury.
14. A new business called "Pot 'n' Pyro" will open along the Colorado - Wyoming border. It will sell recreational marijuana on the south side of the border and legal fireworks on the north side .
15. The University of Wyoming football team will host a spring scrimmage against Laramie High School. UW's defense will give up 38 points in the first half.
16. Congresswoman Cynthia Lummis will not pass gas all year long. Not even once.