What NOT TO DO After Forgetting Valentines Day
Valentine's day is a big deal, according to florists and card companies.
Probably according to that lady in your life who has been mad at you for two weeks in advance because she is assuming you are going to forget it.
So here it is, THE BIG DAY. You've forgotten just like she knew you would.
On your way home, you stop at every store you can think of looking for flowers and a card. Everyone is sold out. YOU BIG DUMMY!
WHAT DO YOU DO?
Hell, I don't know. But I can tell you what you don't do.
DO NOT stop by the hardware store. You are not going fool her with a pink-handled hammer. The pink-handled hammer aisle is probably all sold out after all those other losers got to the pink hammer aisle before you did. Besides she just might use it on you.
DO NOT buy her a flower shop gift card or any other gift car. Nothing says "I FORGOT" and "I HAVE NO IMAGINATION" like a gift card.
DO NOT - EVEN FOR A MOMENT - imagine that tagging her with something sweet on social media will make up for not bringing anything home.
DO NOT stop by any lingerie shop. You'll only find a loser like you waiting in line and they are all going to bring that nonsense home and get yelled at just like you. DO YOU EVEN KNOW HER SIZE? No, you don't. So you'll screw that up too. Besides that just leaves the door open for her to ask if you bought that nighty for her or YOU!
DO NOT take her to the same restaurant that all the other forgetful losers like you are taking their women to. All of the women in that place will spend the night looking at each other and talking crap about their men with their eyes.
SO, WHAT DO YOU DO?
Walk in the door and admit you forgot.
Then promise to sit and watch her favorite chick flick with her without falling asleep.
I know you're thinking OH LORD ANYTHING BUT THAT!
If you can make it through that you might just survive the night.