Why Wyoming Cowgirls Never Get Killed In Horror Movies
Let's get this out of the way right up front: The people who die in horror movies are, I'm sorry were, the dumbest people on the planet.
Yet, how often do you see a Wyoming cowgirl in even one of those dumb "B" movies? They aren't. That's because they are too smart to get caught up in those situations in the first place.
Add to that, creeps like Freddy and Jason know enough not to mess with a well armed Wyoming woman who calls her prize 1,900 LB ridding bull Sweetie Pie when she kisses him on the nose.
But just for the sake of argument let's say a Wyoming Cowgirl woke up in the middle of the night to find some creepy murdering creature in her house. What would happen?
If he wakes her she will empty into him all of the 12 guns stashed under all 12 pillows she sleeps with.
When she gets up she is not putting on high heals. The pointed toes on those boots are lethal weapons.
The power goes out? No problem. She's not afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of her.
She knows where the breaker box is. If it's an old fuse box, she's got that too.
If she's heading for the closet it's not to hide. She's just reaching for a bigger gun.
The creature will realize that she is not trapped in the house with him. He is trapped in the house with her.
The creature will not chase her out of the house. She will chase it out of the house.
If she is heading toward the shed with all of the sharp tools in it- it's only to get something more fun to kill the monster with.
If she gets in her pickup it's not to run away. She intends to run him over.
She knows how to start the truck without flooding the engine.
If the truck will not start she knows how to fix it.
Once the creature is down a Wyoming cowgirl knows to double, triple, and quadruple tap. Then reload and empty the magazine again. There is literally no way she is going to let that thing get back up.
She will then skin, stuff, and displayed the monster in the Livingroom next to the grizzly bear she killed when she was 10 years old.
And that is why you never see Wyoming women in horror movies.